Dull, uninspired writing about things no one cares about. Stephanie Meyer could write better crap. Fortunately, I don't have cats, so I'll never write about them.
After several days, I still couldn't finish the first chapter. He may well be a genius, but I was so put off by the style that I couldn't read it. It was so distracting that I couldn't force myself to pay attention to what I was reading long enough to make any sense of it.